Before marriage comes sex. For purposes of the case that is made in this article, marriage refers to that human construct which defines a relationship between a man and a woman and which relationship is reinforced either by law or custom.
Also note that the definition of marriage, still between man and woman, rightly differs from one human community to another.
My friend marriage is a product of a powerful and inescapable primordial urge to proliferate our species. It is founded on immutable human instincts. Marriage is a framework under which order is established for a man to sexually relate with a woman and vice versa.
Worth mentioning is that what is integrally implicit in any marriage is sex. However, note that sex predates marriage.
For reasons of maintaining societal order and the promotion of human survival, sex before marriage is outlawed in many human communities.
Nonetheless, note that between two mature or naturally ripe individuals, male and female, and in an environment that is devoid of harm, sex is without wrong.
What makes the act of sex wrong is when it is done recklessly, when it is done without due regard for the safety of the persons involved in it.
For example, when one individual has signed a binding contract with another to have sex only with that person and this contract is flouted by one without the consent of the two, it is then that sex becomes inimical to survival and is wrong.
Further, when the one that indulges in sex is not aware of the consequences of the act, beneficial or not or carelessly ignores the harmful effects of such indulgence, that is when wrongness occurs.
you should note that whether marriage exists or not, people will always have sex, people will mate. Again this assertion about mating refers to that act of sex between a man and a woman. That this is the case is as a result of a primeval dictate of nature. This has always been the case from the beginning of the existence of man. It is an irresistible compulsion.
Now take the interesting case of what is referred to as an ‘early marriage.’
What, truly, is an early marriage, dear reader? What really is this thing?
Many human communities recognise this phenomenon called ‘early marriage.’ These communities have even gone further to mount campaigns against this perceived retrogressive reality amongst them. But then what is the truth?
The truth dear reader is that there is no such thing as an ‘early marriage.’
‘Early marriages’ only exist against a backdrop of human concerns/constructs.
What renders ‘early marriages’ extant is the human desire for a person, either male or female, but mostly female to follow a selected path of life, a path chosen by society for its perceived beneficial value.
Noteworthy is that this selected path is said to be normal merely for the numbers of people that follow it. This is referred to as numerical/statistical normality. For the reason that many people do something then that particular thing becomes everyday, it becomes normal. Worth mentioning is that this normalcy is regardless of that done thing being misleading or wrong.
For example, society expects the girl child to complete what is called ‘formal education’ before such a child marries. So if the girl child marries before completion of ‘school’ then her marriage is deemed early. Note the here ‘early’ also denotes undesirable.
However, dear reader, note that not all that is undesirable by man is wrong.
Earlier in this article I made a startling assertion that there is no such thing as an ‘early marriage.’ Now listen.
You see, adolescence is a natural period that refers to that time in the life of a child when he or she becomes sexually mature. It is a dictate of Nature.
It is not uncommon to find many sexually mature people in many countries that are legally still classified as minors. This is anomalous and misleading. This anomaly is established because there is a lack of harmony between the law of man and that of Nature. There is discord between the two.
Adolescence usually and normally occurs in the teenage years. From the age, say of about thirteen, sexual maturity dawns on the human person. Note that sexual maturity or maturity for the purpose of human survival in general, occurs earlier in the female than in the male.
On the other hand, take Zambia for instance, anyone aged sixteen and below is, by law, a minor. And it is illegal in Zambia for anyone falling in the mentioned age category to have sex. This causes an existential problem. It is not sustainable.
You see, when sexual maturity dawns in a human being, the urge to have sex is so powerful that it is very difficult to resist it. In fact, such resistance can be said to be inimical to the health of a human being. To wholly resist it might lead to both mental and physical diseases.
Today, this maturity manifests itself as what is erroneously referred to as the ‘rebelliousness of adolescents.’
In addition, the high rates of masturbation amongst persons that sexually mature but are outlawed by society to freely have sex are partly explained by the felt and healthy need for sexual release in this group of human beings.
A cautionary word though is that freely giving in to the pubertal sexual urge does not mean sexual control has no place in human life. It has.
Now if one is sexually mature, why should it be said to be wrong for that person to marry? Why should the marriage involving such a sexually mature ‘minor’ be said to an early one and hence undesirable?
If Nature certifies one ready to procreate, why should man disagree?
The argument that such procreational-urge products (marriages), anytime that Nature dictates that they occur, are at variance with the social growth and development path of a person is a false construct. It is a misleading case because it is only made valid by the insistence by man that we all ought to conform to what man creates as the desirable life path such as the existing educational systems which are blind to human biological progression and development.
Shouldn’t efforts be made to conform our human behavioral practices such as the said formal education systems to the dictates of Nature? Why shouldn’t such people be allowed to marry and simultaneously also be allowed to continue with their education? Is there a conflict between marriage and education? Fact is, formal human learning structures are only slow and mal-adjusted.
Further, note that there is scientific evidence that having children late is not the right conduct for women. When women have children late it is not uncommon for them to have life-threatening difficulties or for the children to suffer genetic aberrations.
My friend shouldn’t the discord that exists between human law or human societal customs and the dictates of Nature be eliminated and harmony restored?
Truly there is no such thing as an ‘early marriage.’ What has given rise to this phenomenon is man’s own failure to acknowledge and conform to his own natural growth and development pattern. What actually occurs in rural and traditional societies, where ‘early marriages are said to be rife, is in fact closer to the expected normal conduct of human beings.
This discord in our existential circumstances is inimical to societal wellbeing in the long run. It creates wrongness where there is none. It creates stigma where there ought to be none. It is a veritable reflection of the ignorance that still bedevils man. It is an anachronism.
Man or woman will have sex when his or her condition compels him or her to. Note that. And when this occurs between mature persons of the opposite sex and the environment under which this is done is devoid of circumstances inimical to the survival and wellbeing of those involved there is nothing wrong with their indulgence whatsoever. Strange stuff, isn’t it? Yet true!
The foregoing argument is akin to the predicament that Catholic priests find themselves in, and for as long as the Church insists on their celibacy, their having sex, a dictate of Nature shall always be viewed as wrong when, in fact, it is merely a reflection of their natural constitution.
Guys life continues. The age of enlightenment is not over. Indeed each day we live and learn.
Existential variances as highlighted in this article will stun when revealed but, in due course, the requisite order for human existence, survival and prosperity shall force itself upon us and all shock will wear off and we shall all be better for the change that shall be occasioned.
Note that all that we do, by way of law or custom, must necessarily be in the interests of human survival and prosperity.
Nevertheless, observe that instincts are more powerful than reason!
Also note that the definition of marriage, still between man and woman, rightly differs from one human community to another.
My friend marriage is a product of a powerful and inescapable primordial urge to proliferate our species. It is founded on immutable human instincts. Marriage is a framework under which order is established for a man to sexually relate with a woman and vice versa.
Worth mentioning is that what is integrally implicit in any marriage is sex. However, note that sex predates marriage.
For reasons of maintaining societal order and the promotion of human survival, sex before marriage is outlawed in many human communities.
Nonetheless, note that between two mature or naturally ripe individuals, male and female, and in an environment that is devoid of harm, sex is without wrong.
What makes the act of sex wrong is when it is done recklessly, when it is done without due regard for the safety of the persons involved in it.
For example, when one individual has signed a binding contract with another to have sex only with that person and this contract is flouted by one without the consent of the two, it is then that sex becomes inimical to survival and is wrong.
Further, when the one that indulges in sex is not aware of the consequences of the act, beneficial or not or carelessly ignores the harmful effects of such indulgence, that is when wrongness occurs.
you should note that whether marriage exists or not, people will always have sex, people will mate. Again this assertion about mating refers to that act of sex between a man and a woman. That this is the case is as a result of a primeval dictate of nature. This has always been the case from the beginning of the existence of man. It is an irresistible compulsion.
Now take the interesting case of what is referred to as an ‘early marriage.’
What, truly, is an early marriage, dear reader? What really is this thing?
Many human communities recognise this phenomenon called ‘early marriage.’ These communities have even gone further to mount campaigns against this perceived retrogressive reality amongst them. But then what is the truth?
The truth dear reader is that there is no such thing as an ‘early marriage.’
‘Early marriages’ only exist against a backdrop of human concerns/constructs.
What renders ‘early marriages’ extant is the human desire for a person, either male or female, but mostly female to follow a selected path of life, a path chosen by society for its perceived beneficial value.
Noteworthy is that this selected path is said to be normal merely for the numbers of people that follow it. This is referred to as numerical/statistical normality. For the reason that many people do something then that particular thing becomes everyday, it becomes normal. Worth mentioning is that this normalcy is regardless of that done thing being misleading or wrong.
For example, society expects the girl child to complete what is called ‘formal education’ before such a child marries. So if the girl child marries before completion of ‘school’ then her marriage is deemed early. Note the here ‘early’ also denotes undesirable.
However, dear reader, note that not all that is undesirable by man is wrong.
Earlier in this article I made a startling assertion that there is no such thing as an ‘early marriage.’ Now listen.
You see, adolescence is a natural period that refers to that time in the life of a child when he or she becomes sexually mature. It is a dictate of Nature.
It is not uncommon to find many sexually mature people in many countries that are legally still classified as minors. This is anomalous and misleading. This anomaly is established because there is a lack of harmony between the law of man and that of Nature. There is discord between the two.
Adolescence usually and normally occurs in the teenage years. From the age, say of about thirteen, sexual maturity dawns on the human person. Note that sexual maturity or maturity for the purpose of human survival in general, occurs earlier in the female than in the male.
On the other hand, take Zambia for instance, anyone aged sixteen and below is, by law, a minor. And it is illegal in Zambia for anyone falling in the mentioned age category to have sex. This causes an existential problem. It is not sustainable.
You see, when sexual maturity dawns in a human being, the urge to have sex is so powerful that it is very difficult to resist it. In fact, such resistance can be said to be inimical to the health of a human being. To wholly resist it might lead to both mental and physical diseases.
Today, this maturity manifests itself as what is erroneously referred to as the ‘rebelliousness of adolescents.’
In addition, the high rates of masturbation amongst persons that sexually mature but are outlawed by society to freely have sex are partly explained by the felt and healthy need for sexual release in this group of human beings.
A cautionary word though is that freely giving in to the pubertal sexual urge does not mean sexual control has no place in human life. It has.
Now if one is sexually mature, why should it be said to be wrong for that person to marry? Why should the marriage involving such a sexually mature ‘minor’ be said to an early one and hence undesirable?
If Nature certifies one ready to procreate, why should man disagree?
The argument that such procreational-urge products (marriages), anytime that Nature dictates that they occur, are at variance with the social growth and development path of a person is a false construct. It is a misleading case because it is only made valid by the insistence by man that we all ought to conform to what man creates as the desirable life path such as the existing educational systems which are blind to human biological progression and development.
Shouldn’t efforts be made to conform our human behavioral practices such as the said formal education systems to the dictates of Nature? Why shouldn’t such people be allowed to marry and simultaneously also be allowed to continue with their education? Is there a conflict between marriage and education? Fact is, formal human learning structures are only slow and mal-adjusted.
Further, note that there is scientific evidence that having children late is not the right conduct for women. When women have children late it is not uncommon for them to have life-threatening difficulties or for the children to suffer genetic aberrations.
My friend shouldn’t the discord that exists between human law or human societal customs and the dictates of Nature be eliminated and harmony restored?
Truly there is no such thing as an ‘early marriage.’ What has given rise to this phenomenon is man’s own failure to acknowledge and conform to his own natural growth and development pattern. What actually occurs in rural and traditional societies, where ‘early marriages are said to be rife, is in fact closer to the expected normal conduct of human beings.
This discord in our existential circumstances is inimical to societal wellbeing in the long run. It creates wrongness where there is none. It creates stigma where there ought to be none. It is a veritable reflection of the ignorance that still bedevils man. It is an anachronism.
Man or woman will have sex when his or her condition compels him or her to. Note that. And when this occurs between mature persons of the opposite sex and the environment under which this is done is devoid of circumstances inimical to the survival and wellbeing of those involved there is nothing wrong with their indulgence whatsoever. Strange stuff, isn’t it? Yet true!
The foregoing argument is akin to the predicament that Catholic priests find themselves in, and for as long as the Church insists on their celibacy, their having sex, a dictate of Nature shall always be viewed as wrong when, in fact, it is merely a reflection of their natural constitution.
Guys life continues. The age of enlightenment is not over. Indeed each day we live and learn.
Existential variances as highlighted in this article will stun when revealed but, in due course, the requisite order for human existence, survival and prosperity shall force itself upon us and all shock will wear off and we shall all be better for the change that shall be occasioned.
Note that all that we do, by way of law or custom, must necessarily be in the interests of human survival and prosperity.
Nevertheless, observe that instincts are more powerful than reason!
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